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Horrible truths of a Masters degree.

CAUTION: I am writing this so late as i have just gotten off of work, am worn out, tired, and overall in poor shape. Ergo, I am writing this because of these exact same reasons.

First of all, I love my Masters program. Seriously, love it. But the next person that tells me the Masters program isn’t hard,  other students have managed the feat with no real issues, or something along that line, I will stare you in the eye and call bulls…let’s go with just bull.

The only way a grad student can take time to breeze through classes and not worry about finances is A: Living solely off of some ridiculous financial aid or B: Have wealthy and generous parents. Let’s put this in perspective, for most of my grad career I have been working 40-50 hours a week for a community mental health agency. What a God sent miracle. I was able to take 9 credit hours of coursework each semester (full time is considered 6 hours or more fyi) and flex my schedule as long as I met client hours.

Yet at this point in time, I am in the final stretches of the program and am trying to complete my practicum/internship hours. Internship 1+2 need a total of 600 hours to pass. In the time span of 6 months, doesn’t sound to bad right? That’s only of your clients actually show up. Any clinician in any field can attest we humans sometimes suck at making appointments. Guilty right here. So if like my case, only half show up on a regular basis, you need 1200 clinic hours to be safe. Aka a full time job.

Where am I going with this? Hell at this time of night I’m not to clear myself except this sucks. Best way to describe it is to lay out my schedule for ya’ll:
Sunday: 9a wake up, 1115a-1p church, 2/3p-11p Valet job.
Monday: 5a wake up, 6a-2p Valet job, drive to CC, 530p-9p Garcia Center clinic (GCC)
Tuesday-Thursday: 9a wake up, 11a-8p Counseling and Training Clinic (CTC), 8p-3a Bar job
Friday: 530p-9p GCC
Saturday: 9a-1p Internship class, drive to SA, 3p-11p Valet job.

See the problem? No rest for the frigging wicked. But wait, what about Friday? That looks slow. Errrrrrr! That’s time to write pending papers, case studies, journal reviews, and other professional development material assigned to us.

With all of this, there’s no way I am making enough money to cover my school and cost of living. The only jobs that will accommodate my weird hours of availability are minimum wage jobs like bars and restaurants. Not a way to make not just a living but just stay afloat. Hell, I just had to stop by a coinstar to cash in my change so I would have enough money to cover my bills. Thank God for tips otherwise I would not have money after tomorrow night for gas to get me home to SA.

So to tie my sleep-deprived, delusional rant up, I’m apparently a suckered for punishment, am slowly dying from no rest, and want to punch something… I guess. I don’t know. I can’t think straight to save my life right now. Time to shower, rinse and repeat for tomorrow. Lord have mercy on this weary soul…

 
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Posted by on September 11, 2014 in Burnout, Mental Health, Personal, School

 

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Life

Really I think this is just gonna be a short posting today, like a short marker on my own mental health status.  First off I was on another site that asked me to create one of those “about me” postings that I find so annoying.  This time though I drew one up that I’m pretty proud of ;

“Who am I? I am a product of my generation, family, culture, and experiences. The person you see before you is not a perfect work nor will I ever be. I have fallen, been discarded, abandoned, and left alone. Each time, I get back up and move on. You want to know me? I am faulty, broken, and weathered. Does this bother me? I would be lying if I said no but such is life. I live, I learn, and I search. Search for what I believe is right and what is me in this ever expanding and shrinking world. During this process I hope to find someone who I can call my best friend, partner, wife. A person that will be my support, my influence, my passion. To stand beside me as my equal. I search not for that elusive Perfect Love, but the Love that is Perfect for me. Who am I? I.Am.Me.”

Life is going good I think at the moment.  Work is starting to get a grove for me and I am really starting to solidify a social life.  I would be lying if I said work doesn’t drain me but I think I’m beginning to cope.  For example, it seems not only am I, hopefully, affecting my client’s lives towards a more positive outlook, but I am beginning to try and grow my life.  I am still socially responsible for my actions and responsibilities but I have been getting out more and doing more.  Recently I completed my first 10k run in a long time, and I got third place!   I wouldn’t have had the drive if it wasn’t for a recently new friend of mine named Nina.  She knew I liked to run and convinced me to be her running partner.  We trained sporadically but made our goal of doing the 10k in under 70 minutes!  In addition, I’ve been spending more time with my family and letting them know how appreciative I am of everything they do for me or have done for me.  Heck I have even gotten back into dating again…kinda sort of.  What I mean is since starting my new job, I began dating but it ultimately ended on New Years of all days.  But meh it’s done and over with.  On the up and up though, by doing this run, I met someone who has caught my interest.  We’re talking but that’s all I’ll say at the moment since this is still fresh.  All in all, when I take into account my downfalls and positive events, I think life is looking up.

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2012 in Mental Health, Personal

 

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